Case Report
by Qelinor
Summary: A report on the ordinary case of one wellknown Shinigami group. Crossover.


Disclaimer: (fed up with 'em, but still...) thanks to Yohko Matsushita (and not only her, as it's a crossover) &Co for bringing Yami no Matsuei (and not only it) to life and allowing me to toy with it. Profitlessly, I should stress.  
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Report

To the Head of Ju-ou-Cho Department Konoe-san,

Mission trip report Field Shinigami operation team Senior Officer Asato Tsuzuki Responsible Officer Kurosaki Hisoka

21.06  
Recently the House of Thousand Candles reported of the several souls leaving and returning to the World of Living out of schedule. This morning the field Shinigami operational team of Ju-ou-Chou arrived to the site, Tokyo city here and forth comments by r.o. Kurosaki: Couldn't they give more precise coordinates! Here damn millions of population live... We started localization using the techniques of empathy and quasi-scientific guess. The first method involves me sensing unusual human auras, as the ones who have crossed the border of death cannot stay common people. Therefore I intend to search the districts where probability of finding an outstanding person is higher, such as Shinjuku, Rappongi etc. Asato supports the idea. His own method implies walking at random and relying on a hunch i.e. appetite. Today we went through 1.5 blocks in Shinjuku and 3 restaurants. Nothing unusual detected. 25 of the travel allowance spent.

22.06.  
5 more blocks inspected. In the last restaurant we were defending ourselves from consummation girls for 7 hours Tsuzuki tends to listen to grievous life stories of any sad big-eyed lassie...

23.06.  
It looks like sabotage. We've finished with Shinjuku, but only because I was assuring my partner that 100 m further the same biscuits would be cheaper.

24.06.  
Next search area is Rappongi. No results for today. I'd better work as baby-sitter in a kindergarten next time. Or even better, I'd have stayed resting in peace after death.

25.06.  
I had thought that with drastically depleted wallet he'd go faster... Like hell! He drooled over every shop window... No results, of course.

26.06. Money are over completely, simultaneously with revision in Rappongi. Asato tried to plea with Guoshoshin for extra funds but was reminded that overdraft is allowed for the direct needs of investigation. And for shinigami this does not include meals and accommodation.

27.06.  
Tomorrow we'll be thrown out of the hotel for nonpayment. Stimulation of brain cells by hunger gave some results - Tsuzuki requested 10Chou for fake id's of journalists from prominent media companies, and we spent the rest of the day at the International Conference in Breeding of Sea Scallop Breeding in the littoral zone of Japanese Sea. Asato put forward a hypothesis that such events should be arranged and attended by extraordinary personalities, or such person may be hiding in a crowd, like we do. And I believe that he was lured by the free stand-up meals  
Nothing special was detected, btw.  
What alarms me more is that almost in a week we haven't encountered a single trace of Muraki. Strange.

28.06.  
No conferences scheduled for today. After the night spent on a park bench under newspapers senior officer Asato, in the affect/agitated state, committed an act of vandalism - he kicked a trash can. From it a booklet fell out. It advertized opening of a new sweets shop with free showcases. It should be situated in a residential district, absolutely unpromising for finding a supernatural object.  
We were running for the last two blocks. On the spot Asato started devouring showcases. I felt ashamed of him. Greatly ashamed. The more so that close by a group of girls 16-17 y.o. were emphatically amplifying my sensations by radiating the same feeling, probably because of their friend, who was eating up pies side alongside with Tsuzuki also not a genius, judging by blonde pigtail hairstyle, ridiculous for a 16-year-old girl. Seeing that I am not the only companion of a goofball I calmed down and hearkened to the background. I'm on duty, after all. And then I sensed IT. Moreover, one of the neighbor group, long-haired brunette, was staring at me suspiciously too. A common human cannot feel a shinigami. So we waited till our friends finished with a snack.  
Then both parties - me with Tsuzuki and the five girls, watching each other cautiously and by mere miracle not tripping over anything, left the shop and moved to a side lane with no witnesses around. Introduced ourselves by the names. The most normal names from the both sides. Seeing mutual confusion, we shared suspicions and introduced ourselves by profession. I feel myself like an idiot. What kind of rank it is - God of Death? Luckily, 'sailor moon' sounds even sillier  
It turned out that they're impersonifications of Silver Millenium, some long-lost-forgotten realm on the Moon, who are protecting the rest of civilisation from aliens.  
In view of the fact that Meifu Laws do not apply to extraterrestrial citizens no corpus delicti was discovered. The case should be closed.  
Personally I think that it's those 'sailors' who are real invaders - why should some Marses or Venuses exercise/practice their justice on EARTH? Well, I don't care, let the CLAMP university deal with them.

Epilogue Usagi was lying still in a dark timeless spaceless continuum. She'd have held breath if she still breathed - anything not to draw attention of two voices 'above' her. No dice.  
"Your name?" one of them asked, addressing clearly not the other one.  
"I'm Sailor Moon!" she blurted out habitually. "I kinda... bring revenge... In the name of the Moon, that is"  
"Lunar department fed it up again". one voice grumbled. "Again a soul from their jurisdiction got here. And the customs officers of Mansion of Thousand Candles have to clean up for them"  
"Just send her back", another voice intervenes. And through a whirl of sensations she floated back to consciousness, to a hospital bed, a dropper and worried friends and relatives. She smiled to herself. Such a convenient alter ego! Really, why would she tell at that 'customs' that the accident had nothing to do with Sailor Moon, and that a common Earthian girl Tsukino Usagi, after too mush Asahi, had highjacked her fiance's bike and crushed into the closes tree.  
Now she knew how she'd live till next Millenium to enthrone in Crystal Tokyo...


End file.
